The Decision To NOT Compete.

Prep to a fitness competition takes many many weeks and it's not just the hours in the gym, it's all the hours outside of it as well. It's non-stop! I knew that, and I'm usually in the gym so long that I'm used to that commitment.  I LOVE it. It's my happy place. However, I did not know I would take this new job about 4 weeks ago... and I have to admit, since then, I have been SOOO overwhelmed trying to get in my full workouts 6x a week in while maintaining the other aspects of my life. I'm also taking night classes to get my degree and have a toddler and husband to spend time with. I've still been going my 6x a week, but I don't have the time that I used to to dedicate 2-2.5 hours in the gym and to be even more honest, my "prep mentality" hasn't been as high as I need it to be to get to the stage. Sounds like a bunch of excuses to you? I don't care. They are my reasons for why I have been so on and off lately. 

For some reason I didn't want to "give up" on prep because I thought I would feel guilty or weak if I did... I know how excited I was to start and I kept visioning myself on stage. So I kept pushing through... but it's driving me crazy that I can't do what my coach needs me to do and I felt too much pressure that I'm constantly failing him and myself. And on the flip side if I was doing absolutely everything right and dedicating my free time to the gym, I felt like I was missing way too much time from home with the little bit that I already have. I needed to be honest with myself, face facts, and am forgiving myself for this not being the right time for me. 

When I was single, no kids, and just worked full-time, I had so much time to go to the gym two-a-days, and I definitely had that "no excuses!" mentality. I absolutely know working mothers with families can compete, place well, and even become pros! However, you have to be ALL IN. Last year after giving birth I wasn't working or going to school and it was so much easier to dedicate myself to prep and be all in. I was actually even too all in. I absolutely wish I had the luxury of time but right now I know I have other responsibilities to put ahead for now.

Besides all that, I'm also not ready in so many personal internal ways. I thought I was, but I'm not. I have found myself struggling with food once again, binges, the urges to purge, emotional eating, and the inability to disconnect from food & feelings. The obsession came back. I keep thinking that a certain size, body shape or number on the scale will make me feel differently about myself. Alex has bluntly (with love) reminded me that I'm still never truly happy with myself even when I'm tiny. It really opened my eyes that he sees that in me. I've truly tried faking confidence and self love, and sometimes I really do absolutely feel great about myself, but most of the time I don't. I just need to find my happy... my balance... my true true self-love... 

I'm still going to lift and train my 5-6x a week! I'm still going to grow and build and continue with my progress. I just no longer have a timeline/deadline/show date! If I can only go to the gym for 30 mins one day then I can do what I can and not feel guilty or concerned about not doing my full workouts.

These decisions have absolutely NOTHING to do with my coach. He's wonderful and so supportive! I would recommend him to anyone. It's just my own damn fault and my decisions for what's best. I'd definitely return back to Team Heugly if and whenever I feel it's time :)

Anyways, thanks for those who have been following to see me do another show and as always I appreciate all the support! I'm still going to do progress photos and blogs and such! It's not like I'm quitting working out :p just changing up my goals! You don't have to compete to look good! I feel I have a better grasp now than after my show and I can't see myself throwing all this progress away and rebounding right now. 

Which btw... I do have brand new goals ;) A little bit of the reason why I've chosen to not to bikini as well. I still love the IFBB Bikini (the pros) womens' physiques... But, I've always loved a bit of the more muscular and fuller look... Like Erin Stern, Ashley Horner, and cross fit girls... I'll show ya.

I just LOVE the fuller, strong look. 

These will be my new goals to achieve and my own journey. I will self-coach. I know how to train, I know how to macro and most importantly, I know how to Google ;)

I'll actually be doing different trainers and I'll share progress that I get with those and recommendations and what not. I'm starting Erin Stern's Elite Body Trainer this week and I'm super excited. She's a mix of bodybuilding training and athlete training! Time to shock my body. 

That's it for now. Eeeeek it's scary being on my own again, which is why I love having coaches, but I've been researching quite some time on programming and such so I'm excited. IT'S ALMOST SUMMERRRRR :) 

xoxo

Follow on IG for more daily posts: @coral.suarez

Progress & Favorites #1

I think I'm going to do these sorts of updates every few weeks! With mommy/wifey duties, new job, school, training and eating all the time it's hard for me to keep up with blogging. But, I do love it, especially to be able to look back on to read current feelings and help inspire others in any sort of way that I can. 

I've reached over 10,000 views from allllll over the world! America, Serbia, Germany, Japan, Canada, Australia, Malaysia, etc. It's pretty amazing and THANK YOU for taking time and reading my blogs! xoxoxoxoxo

Prep Update: 

I am about... 9 weeks out now? To be honest, this prep has been the complete opposite of my last. I'm not stressing myself out over every little thing, I told my coach I want to go slow and steady so I don't crash and burn out later, or have a horrible rebound again. I will not step on stage until I'm happy with my complete package- even if that means choosing a later show. However, I am motivated as HELL to make the March 28th one! I'm LOVING training. I may be tired, usually just really sore, and hungry if I think about it too much, but I'm not miserable by any means. I'm enjoying myself and this journey. I'm excited to keep pushing and peeling the layers ;) My coach asked me what my energy level was, 1-10 (10 being highest) and I said 9! Yeah, sometimes I have to really push myself, especially that damn cardio lol, but I can do it. It's all in my head. Mind > matter baby.

Training: 6x a week (heavy weights, no plyos). Cardio: 6x a week. HIIT & steady state. Nutrition: Macronutrient based diet consisting of high protein, moderate carbs, and low fat. I use flexible dieting and hit my protein/carbs/fat/fiber daily as well as micronutrients. 1 reefed day a week consisting of almost double my weekly carbs. I usually have it on saturday nights after leg day!

So, here are my progress photos that I've been sending to my coach. I'm well aware how much weight I put on since my last show and I don't need to feel ashamed or guilt myself further. It happened, I slipped up and ate a lot of delicious foods in large moderations (haha). I still worked out, hard, but you know the saying... you can't outwork a bad diet. So true man. I learned, and I'm moving on and doing the best that I can now. 

slow and steady! trying to maintain as much muscle while leaning out!
*starting weight: 140lbs / <5'2" / bf%: unknown
*current: weight unknown, bf% unknown, still a shorty

As embarrassing as it is for me, I am human... I like to be real with everyone who is actually interested in following my journey. It's not all about the highlight reels for me.. I struggle, I fall, and I get the fuck back up. I have a body type that puts on weight very fast when I'm not careful. I really hope to never go through that rebound feeling again. I know I'm capable of losing it and bringing an even better stage package this year. 

Thank you to everyone who supports me!

Current Favorites:

1. Muscle Pharm Combat Crunch Protein Bars

*Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough & Chocolate Peanut Butter Cup
They also just came out with a cinnamon twist, but I haven't tried it yet. I'm definitely more of a chocolate and peanut butter lover mmmm. These are SO good- The macros/calories, the size, the texture and taste! Anyone that knows me knows I love me some Quest Bars, but TRY these. They are worth it!! They kill my sweet tooth and chocolate cravings and are great for a mid-day pick me up snack or meal on the go. I buy mine through Amazon.
(Macros: 210 calories, 7g fat, 28g carb, 20g protein, 12g fiber)

2. Beef Fajita Flame Broiled, Seasoned & Spiced

I always choose chicken to eat as my protein, egg whites second,  protein powder, then fish last. I love steak, but it's usually more pricey and higher in fat. This one I found tastes so great, price was reasonable, and macros are fantastic. I love cooking stir fry with it or making healthy tacos. I buy mine at Sam's Club.

(Macros: 3oz (85g) = 100 calories, 3g fat, 3g carbs, 16g protein)

3. Cary's Sugar-Free Syrup

So I used to use this often, until I heard of Walden Farms (0 cal/fat/carbs) pancake syrup and started using that. But after a while... it just gets old... and expensive for how quickly I'm able to go through it since it's 0 macros everything. So I decided to go back to this because I don't have to order it online, and the macros are pretty damn good for how much you can use. 1/4c is 60ml = 60g and if you weigh while you pour, you will realize you don't even need that much. I only use half of that, so 30g. It tastes way better and for how much I like to make protein pancakes, way more affordable... and convenient. And less chemical tasting.

(Macros: 1/4 cup (60g) = 30 calories, 0 fat, 14 carbs, 0 protein). 

4. Scivation Xtend Intraworkout

I started using this during my last prep, almost a year ago, and have fallen in love with it and I don't think I have gone a day without it! I use 1 scoop and sip on it during my workouts. I honestly feel like I sweat much more when I drink it. But besides that, here are some facts on these BCAAs. 

• Build Muscle • Burn Fat • Recover Faster
• Enhances Muscle Building and Strength
• 7g BCAAs - 2:1:1 Proven Ratio
• Increases Fat Burning
• Helps Speed Recovery
• ZERO Sugar or Carbs

There are a lot of BCAAs out there (branch chained amino acids) but this one is just my favorite. I highly recommend watermelon and strawberry kiwi! If I crave something sweet later in the day, I've also made slushies with it in the summertime :)

5. Liquid Stevia Drops

These are 0 calorie sweeteners, and all natural! I LOVE them. They are a bit pricey for a small bottle, but seriously a few drops goes a long ways! I use them in my coffee, plain fat free greek yogurt mixes, protein pancake mix, etc. Anything you want to sweeten! Plus, they have a whole bunch of different flavors! Tryyyy them. You need this in your life, especially if you like stuff sweet like me :p

I buy mine from Amazon or Vitacost. I linked it so you can see the product details :)

I buy many things from Vitacost! Protein powder, vitamins, Quest Bars, peanut butters and sweeteners. Check them out!

Thats all for today! Have a fit week everyone. Don't give up!!

If there is anything you want me to write a post about or you have questions, feel free to contact me and ask anything!

Also follow me on IG for more day to day updates :)

@coral.suarez

xoxo

Rebound & Comeback!

Hey loves, I can't believe I haven't written in 6 months! 

Honestly, it's easier to write stuff out than to actually DO them. I had a really tough time after my last competition 6 months ago-- rebounded hard (15lbs) and trying to figure out what was best for me to do. As much as I educated myself on post-show rebound, reverse dieting and BALANCE, it's easier said than done. I continued to gain weight and fat through the months and felt insanely self-conscious. I felt like a bottomless pit that just could not stop eating large amounts of crap! Mainly sweets. aka fat, carbs and so much sugar :( As much as I told myself, "its ok, it's off season" or "you need to gain fat to put on muscle" the hard honest truth was that I didn't need to put on that much. A little is normal, it's necessary even to put on some fat after being in a deficit so long to regain sanity, energy and to live healthy. But, unfortunately, I put on too much. For those who follow me on  IG (@coralsuarez) probably noticed slight gain, but it's easy to hide in clothes, take selfies at a good angle, suck it in and or use good lighting. I was just too embarrassed and didn't feel like I could be much motivation to others to be posting blogs... So I stopped. 

I knew I needed to take several months off from being on "diet" aka calorie deficit. Instead of focusing and driving myself crazy to lose weight (although I still did a bit), I tried to focus more on putting on muscle and size, so the next time I dieted down, I would have some pretty muscles to reveal underneath. I've been trying to love myself more and stay positive instead of tearing myself apart constantly for not fitting this extremely fit shape, that society kind of pressures fit girls to look like. Because if you don't look shredded 365 days, you're not "fit" right? (sarcasm)

Anyways, I chose a different coach than my last two. I decided on Team Heugly and have started working with them almost 5 weeks ago! This saturday I will be 11 weeks out-- First competition of the season being March 28. Eeeeeek. 

I'm excited to have routine and structure by a wonderful coach, I'm excited to have great communication and support, I'm excited to be lifting heavy and doing HIIT cardio, and most importantly, I'm excited to have a macro based diet (carbs, fats, protein, fiber) instead of a meal plan! AAAAND I don't have to weigh myself! Such a relief. My first past coach had me take progress photos and weight 3x a week it was beyond stressful. 

In just a few weeks working with them, I've noticed such differences in coaching methods already. I honestly haven't even felt like I'm in prep. It's been a breeze so far :) 

On the flip side, I'm torn between wanting to compete, and be fit for life... I'm not sure how many I will do after this one. I kind of want to remove myself from the "on season" and "off season" mentality... Why can't I just look and feel good all year around? For years I have obsessed over my body... too skinny... too fat... calories... macros... never ending disordered eating cycles... blah blah. Eventually I want to FREE myself from it all and just do whatever the hell I want all year and maintain and progress towards my goals. I love the discipline to compete, but I'm really scared of the rebound that could possibly happen again. 

Progress pics.... the weekly ones I take to send to my coach.. ah, I want to show them, I'm just embarrassed :( I worked SO hard last year/this year for a year to compete and lose 60lbs of pregnancy weight to just gain in a few short weeks. I felt and looked awful. I take progress once a week now so I may or may not start sharing comparisons soon... Until then, here are some clothed/semi-clothed progress selfies... ;P to show where I am at lately.

Just want to end it with this: DON'T BE SO HARD ON YOURSELVES! I know it's easier said that done, but TRY to relax and enjoy the process. Loving your body through thin and thick. I've been through thin (110lbs) and pregnant (180lbs) to fit (120lbs) to fat (150lbs) to average (130lbs) and even looking my best, I was never happy and satisfied with myself because I paid too much attention to the scale. THE SCALE DOESN'T MEAN SHITTTTT. Once I dumped the scale and went off of how clothes fit, body composition, and how I felt inside, my mindset really changed. Sure, "fit" looks good if you're cut up and shredded all the time, but those high-profile fit people are not always healthy. You need to find that balance where you can live your life, eat some damn ice cream without it turning into eating the entire container, workout without it feeling like punishment and go out with friends and family without obsessing over calories. There is a time and a place for it all... if you are prepping for a show, of course things must get a little strict, but it shouldn't change your life completely. If you're not prepping... dude, LIVE. Eat! Train hard. HAVE FUN. If you're hating everything... you shouldn't be doing it!

xoxo

IG @coral.suarez

Peak Week!

Hey all! Sorry for the lack up updates. I have been busy and just trying to relax, concentrate and not think too much and stress myself out! I'm really good at stressing the small stuff, beating myself up or comparing myself to other girls and have just really needed to take a step back and re-focus. I keep reminding myself it's MY journey, MY progress, MY body. I don't care of others' opinions on MY lifestyle. 

As you can tell, I didn't do the Boston show that was on the 24th of May… I was not mentally, physically, nor financially ready for that one, so I chose a show closer to home (~1 hour away) and 3 weeks later… which is now a few days away!! June 14th. It is 2 shows combined into one; The CT State Championships and the CT Grand Prix! I have entered in the CT Grand Prix bikini open A and will possibly enter in the bikini novice devision as well. When I was signing up I was freaking out like omggggg this is really happening! I kind of got cold feet into entering then so I will probably do it at check-ins.

The week leading up to the show, bodybuilders go through "peak week"- it is different for divisions and I'm sure as with anything, all coaches have their own way of doing it. It's definitely more for the 'bodybuilder' and 'figure' (more muscular/leaner) categories, but as bikini I will still be doing a moderate peak week. Basically, it's the last week to get your muscles to "peak" by show! It has a lot to do with the manipulation of carbs/water/sodium etc. I'll have to write more about it after I do it. But from many articles I've researched, it's not that complicated and most people over-do these steps and can ruin their final package like coming in too stringy or dry? Again, those are mainly for figure, mens' physique and bodybuilding. Bikini kind of has it a little easier. 

Well here I am, this was taken Saturday morning (1 week out) - no food or water, and I actually looked better than I thought I did in my head. Surprise. Sometimes it gets to be a giant mind-fuck when you're constantly looking at yourself in the mirror, different lightings, foods you eat that bloat you, etc. I am weighing in at 128lbs and I am 5'2". Yes, I could use to lose more body fat pounds, but it is what it is. My body has been fighting me so much these past few weeks and my metabolism is tired and damaged. I'm so excited to work on it and building my physique after this show! 

This week I haven't made any drastic changes to my diet- the only thing is I'm on lower carbs until later this week where I will start adding them back to fill my muscles for the show. I am sticking with foods that I know won't cause bloating such as chicken/tilapia, oatmeal, green beans, egg whites/ eggs, spinach. Fiber causes bloating too so I am watching my intake with that as well because I know my body is very sensitive. The last week or two is boring with food, but I would rather keep it safe than sorry. Coach told me to up my water by 50% as well for the next few days, so that is probably the hardest part for me haha I hate drinking sooooooo much water! and having to pee all the freakin time! 

As far as training, no significant changes in that either. Although this week I will be working at 80% of what I usually do because I don't want to tear down my muscles or be sore on show day. More reps ~20 and less weight. I have been doing fasted cardio for the past 2-3 weeks in the AM and will continue to do so for the next few days as I feel it really helps ME. 

I have two bikinis from Ravish Sands- one I got for free from winning a raffle and one I wanted as a back-up! Not sure which one to wear yet- but it'll depend on the fit the day of the show. The second one I bought is a color I never imagined buying… ever! Out of my box and I am so in love with it, but it's on the tight side so I'll have to see if I'll be able to wear it this show. 

I have been practicing my walk/routine/posing at home in the mirror as well as a few times at the gym! I feel slightly confident in it, but everyday I watch some sort of youtube competition videos and I make slight changes or learn a little something new. I really haven't spent much time in the heels and every blog I read with tips say to spend hours in them and get used to them lol but oh well- I'm more of a winging it type of girl. 

Checklist-

x) Bikini bite

x) bikinis 

x) heels

x) jewelry

x) Pro Tan / glaze

x) registration

x) hair/makeup

x) black hoodie & sweats 

x) flipflops

x) base tan

Need list-

-npc card

-pack food

-mani/pedi

-tan

-

I can't really think of anything else right now. I'm so nervous! The days are flying by and Saturday will be here before I know it. I have to make every single day count. I have to do something that will make me closer to my goals than further. Staying focused!! 

follow me on IG for more updates @coral.suarez

xoxo

6 Weeks Out

It's easy to become a bit obsessive (too dedicated? is that possible?) when you're in competition prep, especially as you get closer and closer to show. You constantly check your body out, looking for change, definition of muscles that you've spent hours and hours trying to build, and fat loss from diet and cardio. You check out the other competitors and think "shit, they look so good." You sometimes doubt yourself and over-think little situations. I sometimes wonder if I jumped into competing too soon after having Sylas and should have just enjoyed myself took my time. I think of how sick I am of dieting, since I've been doing it since November. You just want to see the pounds on the scale drop and your body fat disappear. Sometimes I find myself obsessing and stressing out about the little things… even the amount of veggies I eat! I will research everything on the computer and try and compare my situation with others. Deep down, I know every body is different, every situation is different. Weight/height/activity level/genetics/metabolism, everything can come into play with weightloss/fatloss. My coach always tells me to relax, not stress and stop weighing myself every day. Old habits are hard to break, competing or not. 

This week, my new goal is kill it in the gym and nutrition… everything 200%... and during my down time, not constantly research, and just RELAX and enjoy the process. When I look back, I don't want to think that I was miserable- instead, look back at everything with a smile on my face, knowing that I enjoyed the changes and challenges. I will not give up, dammit. I have been dedicated for way too long to just let things go by. The show is coming whether I'm ready or not. I will not just say "oh well, next show" again, and then look back with regret. I may or may not place well at my first one, but all I can do is give it my all and know deep down that I did my best. I will learn from this first show and use the experience to keep doing better and better at shows to come. It won't always be this hard. My future preps won't be as long. I know better from now on. I'll also "off-season" the right way and come into season the right way. After these shows this year, I'm taking my time to reverse diet correctly, BUILD my metabolism, physical and mental strength back up and go into the next season full-on, unstoppable.  

A couple changes this week:

1. I've started two-a-days this week- I will be adding in morning fasted cardio. This topic is really debatable and a lot of people have their opinions on it, theres scientific research for the pros and cons- I'm really not going to get into it. I've done it in the past, and I've felt it worked for me, so I'm going to utilize it again. I drink my Scivation intra-workout BCAAs while I do it to preserve muscles and I do it at a low-intensity, still getting in a sweat. For now I'll stick with 30 minutes. We bought a stationary bicycle for the house, so that will be my morning cardio equipment. Later, I will hit up weight-lifting for 1-1.5hrs followed by high intensity cardio for another 30-45 mins. Depending on my time/ how I feel. 

Lifting: 5x a week, 2+ body parts a day, supersets and triple-sets. 4-8 sets, 10-15 reps, depending. Lifting heavy and keeping that heart rate up, sweating my ass off!

Cardio: morning fasted cardio 5x week & HIIT/steady state at the gym 6x a week, pushing myself and getting in a sweat session. I've learned staying in "heart rate zones" are crap, and you should just PUT IN WORK. 

2. Coach has changed my macros around (still around the same calories) but will be carb-cycling with no/low-carb days and a high-carb day. The no/low days will consist of carbs from vegetables and trace carbs from nuts/nut butters, high protein, and high fats coming from egg yolks, lean ground turkey 93/7, extra virgin olive oil/coconut oil, almonds and peanut butter- almost like the Keto life. On the high-carb day, carbohydrate grams will be very high while fats are very low, and protein grams remains the same. Honestly, when I got the plan, I was like OMG, I can't have oatmeal!! It scared me. I don't think there's been a day in my life that I didn't have any starch lol! It's been a few days now, and although I miss it, I get a lot of peanut butter so I'm remaining pretty sane ;) I haven't had a high-carb day yet, but hoping it comes soon! MMMM carbs :D 

That's about it. I'll post progress photos next week and a bigger update... Just always remember, do something today that will HELP you towards your goals and get you CLOSER, not further. Only YOU know if you are truly giving it (whatever your life goal is) 200%! You cannot be upset at the results you don't get with the work that you do not put in!

Again, I just wanted to say GO CHECK OUT ISOLATOR FITNESS! They have some awesome gear and great meal bags for amazing prices. You can't beat it. With summer coming up, you'll need it extra for not just work days but beach/pool days and even family outings. We just got a 3 meal one and I love that it fits even my son's big bottles and snacks along with my shakes, water, meals and goodies :) If you like what you see, feel free to use CORAL10 for 10% off your entire purchase! 

Find me on IG: loveliftdrift

If you have any questions feel free to email me! 

suarezcoral@hotmail.com

xoxo